STOP: Don’t do it. [Egregious Eyes]

Things Eyes CAN do:
Squint. Twitch. Shut. Open. Widen. Water. Narrow. Focus. Adjust. Blink. Glance.
Things Only Scary Bad Fiction Eyes Can Do:
Pop. Scythe. Raze. Flame. Flash. Freeze. Bug. Laser. Drill. Undress. Flicker. Glow. Dim.

(Feel free to add to either list in the comments!)

    — from SB Sarah:

Seriously. Can we stop with the flicker of fear, the fleeting hint of desire, the flash of rage? COME ON. Couldn’t a hero have tension between his eyebrows, a wrinkle near his eyes that indicated rage that smooths out before she gets a good look? Something other than an emotion floating in his eyeballs that she gets a glimpse of?

Oh, see, I really have nothing to add to this. Nothing.

— except to say: unless you have an x-ray machine and/or are a doctor of psychology and fairly certain about your patient, the human body can only tell the reader what anyone would be able to see from the outside. Unless you’ve got an ophthalmology license, there’s just not too much you can read in someone’s eyes. And if they’re flashing? Just think POLTERGEIST. Or, very angry djinn. And run.

BONUS: Freebie short story by Sherwood Smith at Book View Cafe!

Awesome eyes courtesy of Webweaver Free Clipart. Thanks, guys!

About the author

tanita s. davis is a writer and avid reader who prefers books to most things in the world, including people. That's ...pretty much it, she's very boring and she can't even tell jokes. She is, however, the author of nine books, including Serena Says, Partly Cloudy, Go Figure, Henri Weldon, and the Coretta Scott King honored Mare's War. Look for her new MG, The Science of Friendship in 1/2024 from Katherine Tegen Books.

Comments

  1. Oh man, I love those SBTBs. And that graphic. Oh, and goofball rays.

    I think the only egregious one I'm pretty sure of using (well, in recent memory) is flashing. Otherwise…whew. Think I'm safe.

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