she’s reading: three on the theme of emo

Dear TBR,

Happy Summer, Direct From the Surface of the Sun!

Lately I’m resonating with the idea of writing books being close to the experience of giving birth; it feels like I’ve been locked in a six-month labor situation, and I’d REALLY like to be over it. One thing that HELPS me get over the stuck-in-process, lost-for-words experience of writer’s block is to touch base with other writers. Sometimes getting stuck in our imposter’s syndrome/heads/feelings looks different from another pair of eyes, so when I’m at a loss for how to describe/portray heartbreak, I open up the book bag. Most recently, I’ve read:

• NOT AN EASY WIN, by Chrystal D. Giles,
• MAYBE TOMORROW? by Charlotte Agell, illustrations by Ana Ramírez González
• and AFTER EVER AFTER, by Jordan Sonnenblick

I didn’t expect NOT AN EASY WIN to be… subtle, to be honest; it was mentioned in a piece by a SLJ librarian who talked about shorter MG books being key to success. This one met all the writer’s criterion for being short and to the point, but still dealing with intensely important, mature themes. The novel didn’t seem shorter than average to me, nor did the vocabulary contain the usual “reluctant reader” combination of mature subject content with simplified vocabulary. The narrative arc of sadness is universal, however – an unexpected exit by a parent leading to feelings of loss, a change in family circumstances, unspoken resentment, troubles at school, and then learning a new skill to find calm and coping skills. The main character in a poor community learns to play chess, which is described by many to be a “game of kings.” I personally cannot follow chess with my weird spatial skills, but people talk about falling into a “flow” during game play, and it was an unusual and interesting device to use to allow this young Black boy to grow into himself.

MAYBE TOMORROW? I picked up merely because of Ana Ramírez González’s bright and whimsical cover art, together with the questioning title. The slightly worried looking, umbrella-carrying hippo stands in contrast to the broadly gesticulating crocodile surrounded by butterflies. I at least assumed this short little thing would be a book about polar opposite friends. Nope. It’s a book about grief and loss, and it made me tear up, because it was unexpectedly simple and blunt, yet complex in the way really adult ways. This may be down to the Nordic perspective of its Swedish-American author, or it just may be the character’s perspective as simple animals. In any event, the main gist of the book is: Hey. I am dragging this BLOCK behind me, and it’s hard. I will always have to drag it. Maybe. But, maybe you can put it down tomorrow. That’s… it. And that crocodile showing up to walk beside the hippo and sometimes help pull the block uphill – even though it can run uphill or fly on its butterflies is so treacherously hopeful that it really spoke to me of how children – adults – people – can navigate hard things, and remain in a world where hope lives.

Finally, I picked up AFTER EVER AFTER just because I always intend to read Jordan Sonnenblick’s books but tend to get around to them in more of a binge situation than a timely manner. Doesn’t matter, though; I love the books he writes because the interior lives of boys in them are as rich and emotionally nuanced as anyone’s – he doesn’t skimp on feelings to lean in on grossness, nor does he pull back from the less …mmm, ready-for-prime-time aspects of adolescent male life. This is a book about a boy who has experienced losses and pain and fear – and contrasts with how he deals with what comes next and how a friend who has similar experiences has come through, and What Happens Next. It is, beyond anything else, a survival story – because the “what next” is part of what compels us to take the next step, and the step after that in life. It’s what happens after change, what happens after heartbreak, and the trick to navigating it all seems to be: Keep Going.

Well, I feel like I’ve gotten a lot of insight, and come these few centimeters closer to pushing out this giant wad of a book and getting it out of my house.

Fresh onto the TBR:

• The Secret Library, Kekla Magoon
• Louder Than Hunger, John Schu
• Bunny and Clyde, John Nash
• Apple Crush and Woe, Lucy Knisley

Until the next book, 📖

Still A Constant Reader